Wild Ones...

Hey I heard you were a wild one...

So all that relationship crap I've been talking about?  Yeah.  Let's just forget about that. 
Last night a group of us went out to celebrate my belated birthday - as well as two other birthdays that were very recent - and overall, it was a great night.  With my half-hearted attempts to slow myself down, I stuck to beer instead of my usual hard liquor... except one lovely lady had a flask in her purse, french men bought us shots and a wonderful fellow had a quart in his truck.  Dammit.  Ah well, we're young and reckless... so therefore it's okay!

As far as the relationship crap goes, well I pulled a typical "Danielle" move and it's now dead.  It's unfortunate really, but I brought it upon myself and have no one to blame but myself.  Honestly?  I should have listened to those voices in the back of my head in the beginning; the ones that were telling me that I'm not at a point in my life where this is a good idea, and that I'm only going to either get hurt, or I was going to end up hurting someone because I'm simply not mature enough for a mature relationship.  I shouldn't have to try to convince a guy that I'm good enough, and I need to just let myself be young and alive.  Besides, I'm reckless enough on my own, a relationship with two reckless people is simply a recipe for disaster.   

This evening my dad and I went out on his motorbike because I've never been on one before.  Did I like it?  Well, if I told you that I want my own, would that answer the question?  I don't remember a time I've felt that free... the exhilaration was addicting and I honestly had to hold myself back from spreading my arms and yelling.  Riding horses definitely gives you that euphoric feeling of irreplaceable freedom and adrenalin, however I can never shut my brain off to simply enjoy it - I'm constantly thinking "I need to bend their ribcage a bit more," or I'm concentrating on closing my hip angle, getting lead changes, etc. etc.  On the bike I simply felt free (maybe because my father was driving and I could sit back and enjoy that freedom... but regardless, it was great!) and I can't wait to feel it again.  Feeling the wind on my face like that reminded me, again, that I need to cool my engines and simply enjoy life without all this unnecessary stress. 

Yes, I make bad decisions, I act without thinking and I just want to have a good time.  Which is exactly why I'm going to just allow myself to have those good times while I still have my youth and while my responsibilites are still on the lower-end of the adult spectrum. 

So what we get drunk, so what we don't sleep; we're just having fun, we don't care who sees. 
So what we go out, that's how its supposed to be; living young and wild and free.

♥ DanielleCrowe